October 31st Thursday.

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I tried to crochet yesterday and its safe to say I wasted my money buying the kit. It infuriated me trying to do it. So its a no to crochet! I feel better today, than I did yesterday. Still depressed as shit but, better than yesterday. Im still alive so thats a plus I guess.. I keep pushing through them bad days and im doing it, im just not sure how. Jesse went watch Man United last night with Damian and stayed over in a hotel for the night. The bond they have is amazing. Makes me feel so proud of how we parent our children. I dont really have anything to say, I said before how I dont talk much anymore. Its pretty sad. Stripped my bed today and washed it all, now I have the task of making it all. Love fresh bedding, hate making the bed. I need something to happen in life, I need to be able to wake up and smile about being alive. Surely, the universe has got to bless me somehow? I cant keep living like this, im just not enjoying being alive and it makes me sad. Im going to paint Jesses face in a min ready to go trick or treating with Damian and Mabel. Hes so lucky to have Damian as his father figure.

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