October 24th Continued.

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I've done nothing but cry all day.
My mind and body are tired.
Not like a normal tired, my soul is tired of fighting.
Losing my Dad was hard.
Having cancer was hard.
But to lose a child.. I can't even put into words how it feels.
I am a broken woman. 
How Damian has managed to sort all Jay-Dees belongings today, I will never know.
That's strength.
I feel so sad that his room has been gutted.
Today is a bad day but I just refuse to give up.
I'd love to be able kill myself and just be done with this life, because I've truly had all I can take, but to leave my 3 other children without a mother, is not an option unfortunately. 
I'm going have an early night and hope for a better day tomorrow. 

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