October 18th Friday.

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Not going to lie, Liam Paynes death has kinda triggered me. The way hes died and having drugs in his system. My son fell to his death from the 17th floor of a multi story car park. I feel sick just thinking about it, I feel sick in the pit of my stomach. He was under the influence of drugs because hed been to a rave till the early hours. It kills me inside, everyday, his death is on my mind. Every single moment of the day. Nearly 5 months without my child, its not getting any easier, if anything I miss him more as the days go by. Every day I live is a day closer to my death where I will see my son and dad again. Feeling pretty shitty today, I feel shitty most days, if not everyday if im honest. I am simply just surviving.

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