August 1st 2023

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2nd week into the 6 week holidays, I hate the holidays, I barely leave the house, saying that, myself, my sister and the kids all go Blackpool on a day trip on the 3rd. I'm looking forward to getting out the house for the day, even if it is only for the day. I've isolated myself that much i'm unsure how I get myself back into the world if that makes sense. I lost alot of friends since going sober, but, I have since met some sober friends. I don't miss my old lifestyle at all, I was a depressed drunk. I was an alcoholic, I drank every single day and now here I am smashing my sobriety! Super proud of myself. Every day is a silent battle with myself. I'd love be able have a drink and be happy but I know I wouldn't stop once I start. I have evolved massively, so even though I cry most days and i'm lonely, I can see how far i've come the past 2 and half years. The way I get through the days is to believe that my dad is guiding me from above.. "Death is not the end of a person." 1 THESSALONIANS 4:13-14 As you see, the bible tells me he's still with me. We all have our own beliefs so please don't judge me. My faith and my children are what keep me from falling back into the black hole i've fought so hard to climb to the top of. I slip some days but I never stop fighting for my life.

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