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 All morning I've thought about travelling to Hanley and jumping off the bridge, I've had to open the laptop and write about it before I end up killing myself. You wouldn't believe how much better I feel after I've written about it. I knew things were still bad when it became a chore brushing my teeth and then I stopped brushing them, stopped brushing my hair, stopped bathing and now I want to stop living. There's a reason for how I feel now and I know it will pass, it's the waiting for it to pass that's the problem.

I know one day depression is going to win.

What an absolute bastard depression is. My heart is broken beyond repair.

What a start to 2023.

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