June 26th Friday.

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Grief is heavy today.
Just sat picturing my sons smile and his face. I miss him terribly. I miss my dad.
How cruel is life.
There's nothing i can do to make grief any easier, ive just got to ride it out. (Sigh)
I could cry today, but my medication wont allow it, so ill just sit feeling tearful. 
Im quitting my vape. Ive got enough juice last me the day and then im done. Its costing me a fortune buying vape refills every few days, im waking through the night to vape. Its got to go, so today is the day. I did plan on quitting when I go on holiday anyway, so its just 5 days earlier.
5 days till we go away, excited and nervous. Not packed yet ill do that the night before.
Going my sisters later for a few hours, looking forward to it. She's got a pool so ill be dipping my feet in it.
My heart aches today for my dad and son, they had so much more life to live. Taken way too soon.

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