January 15th Wednesday.

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I've felt like shit the past few days, I reached out to my friends and they came to visit me last night. I'm so lucky to have supportive friends. 
Didn't take Jesse school yesterday, couldn't bring myself to get out of bed,  but I've taken him today and been the cafe to see my other friends. 
I've been Asda to get the ingredients to make a lasagne for tea with fresh carrots. 
I'm feeling pretty shitty if I'm honest. 
I've got nothing in me, I feel drained all the time. 
I'm just having a cup of tea then I plan on going back sleep. I'm so depressed. 
It kills me getting out of bed in the morning, I'm just constantly tired, which I'm putting down to the depression. 
I don't know what more I can do to make myself feel better. I'm seeing my friends as much as I can but I'm still depressed. 
I'm grieving. Life is hard work isn't it?
Grief is so hard to deal with. I miss my son more than anything.
Jensen isn't moving to Colombia now, there's an issue with getting a visa. Don't tell him, but I prayed he wouldn't go and leave me. I need him here with me because I'm really struggling with life.
He's planning a holiday to Colombia next month to see his gf and then hopefully she can move to this country.
Anyway, I'm going have this cup of tea and try and sleep the day away.

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