December 8th 2024 Sunday.

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Sunday, THE worst day of the week for me. My father passed away on a Sunday and so did my Son. Today my Dad would of been 60 years old. He will forever be 55 years old. How heartbreaking is that.
I've lost my Dad and my Son and my identity. I lost myself, the day my father passed away, a part of me went with him.
Then my son tragically dying, whats left of me went with him.
Today is a hard day.
I feel so empty, I could cry. Life was never meant to be this way.
There was a Christmas light switch on last night at Church and Santa was there, so I decided take Jesse-John. I'm trying to do things when I can because it occupies my mind. I loved seeing Jesse's little smile when he saw Santa. He asked me the other day, if Santa was real, I assured him that he was real. Makes me think that this is probably his last year believing which makes me sad.
I wish my heart was in Christmas but its not and I feel bad that I can't bring myself to be happy. It's meant to be a happy time.
It's 27 weeks today that my son so tragically passed away. It kills me inside.

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