December 30th Monday.

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I've done nothing but cry today, I've been my mums and broke my heart. Told her I can't do this anymore. Broke my heart on the phone to my brother and sister. I'm having a really bad day mentally. Same yesterday, I lay in the bath and thought about slicing my wrists open. I'm suicidal today too. I can't do this anymore. I think I'm going have to ring the Samaritans or ring The Sutherland Centre who im under with my psychiatrist. Today is a really bad day. I honestly don't know how I'm getting through each day. My kids are always at the front of my thoughts, everyday, but today I feel like I'm drowning with suicidal thoughts. 
I've gone through so much within the past 4 years, I can't deal with the overload of trauma. I lost my 55 year old dad, I had cancer and now my son is dead. That's a hell of alot for the mind and body to deal with. I honestly can't cope with life anymore.

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