October 6th Sunday. 18 weeks.

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It's been 18 weeks today since my son took his own life.
I don't know how I'm getting through this, but I am.
18 weeks of heartache.
Just taken my dog for a walk and to be honest, I'm having a shit day.
Minds on overdrive.
So fucking fed up of bad shit happening in my life.
I hate Sundays!
Jesse's going with Damian today, he goes every Sunday, so I'm contemplating going the gym for an hour.
I want to go but I've got anxiety about going alone.
I have to tell myself, many times, that nothing will happen to me, I will be ok. 
Anxiety and depression have ruined my life and having grief ontop of it all.. I don't know how I'm making it through each day if I'm honest!.
I can either sit on my arsenal feeling like shit, or I can go the gym.
God I've got no motivation today.
Anyway, I'll let you know if I go. I'm actually going to get my gym clothes on to see if that helps.

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