October 15th Tuesday.

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Didn't take Jesse school yesterday, couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. Had a shit day, but today I've gotten up and taken him to school. Just taken my dog for a walk and been Asda.
Same shit, different day!
My life is like groundhog day, I dunno, maybe I'm still feeling a bit shitty.
People praise me for being so strong, but I'm not strong. If I was I wouldn't be reliant on medication to keep me alive. I've just told a friend I was speaking to, that the medication has saved my life.
Before I was put on Olanzopine I wasn't leaving my bed, I was in such a dark, dark place. I just wanted to die. If it wasn't for the medication I know I wouldn't be here. Very powerful stuff is Olanzopine. 
It's an anti psychotic medication and I belive hand on heart, it saved my life.
I'm not strong, I just put on a strong front.
I smile and the whole time, I'm dying inside.



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