September 1st 2024

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I went out for food yesterday with Jasper, it was lovely having quality time with him.
Today has been shit, it's a Sunday and I hate Sundays. Its been 13 weeks since my son died and the days are getting worse, not better.
I felt ok yesterday and today I feel like shit.  This is the problem with my mental health, I can be ok for a day or 2 and then I'm back to fighting suicidal thoughts.
It's 9pm now and I made it through another day. How wonderful. 
I haven't really got anything to say, I never have anymore. Oh, I'm still sober. Over 2 & a half years of sobriety.  Pretty amazing you'd think. It's absolute torture, just lately all I can think about is alcohol. How I've not hit the bottle after losing a child ill never know. Getting my strength from above I'm sure of it.
God I'd do anything to see my father and child just one more time, but I know it's not possible. I've just got to keep waking up everyday until its my time to die.
What an absolute shit show of a life.

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