September 12th Thursday.

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Should of gone the gym again today, its the only thing ive found that relaxes my mind but Monday, Wednesday and Friday are enough for now. So what have I done today? I went Asda this morning to get ready meals for tea because I dont feel upto cooking today. I took my dog out for a walk and then I spent the rest of the day thinking about my son. Ive just been collect Jesse from school and the heavens opened up.. typical! Always rains on the school run, with having 4 boys youd think id be used to walking in the rain but I still despise the school run. Saying that, I know ill miss it when Jesse goes to high school. Jesses in year 4 now so only a couple more years left. Time really does go fast! Started my higher does of medication last night so im hoping I start to see an improvment in my mental health. We're on the road to recovery and im excited to get better. I dont want to die today, I mean, if it happened I wouldnt complain, but today, im doing ok. I tell myself that im always going to think about my child, everyday I will until I get to see him again, so ive got to just embrace it and try to live with it. Im so glad theres a few of you following me on this healing journey im on. I dont know who reads my blogs but I see numbers when its been read so thankyou all for sticking with me. Maybe youre depressed like me, or sat at home alone feeling the way I do. Just know, youre not alone, im here x

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