August 25th 3 Months.

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3 months today since my first born son passed away. I still relive the day that policeman told me my son was dead. The phone call I made to Damian with my hands trembling, having to tell him his son was dead. Why did it have to be my child that passed away. It kills me inside everyday. I long to see his face, I pray that he visits me in my dreams but as of yet he hasnt. My son Jensen had a visitation from Jay-Dee, he said in his dream he asked him why he did it and they both just cried. Sundays are so hard, my dad passed away on a Sunday and so did my son. I dont really have much to say today, im sad. Ive got up made breakfast for my 2 youngest sons Jasper and Jesse, ive done some washing and the whole time I feel dead inside. I get my strength from my children, they keep me going on my bad days. Thankful that I have my children because id be dead without them. Its only dinner time and I already want to climb back into my bed and sleep. Think im going find a movie on the firestick and call it a day already.

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