August 20th Tuesday.

I sought help yesterday, I rang The Sutherland Centre and broke my heart. I now have an appointment with my psychiatrist in 2 weeks time and thats an emergency appointment. I feel a bit better today, ive not cried yet. Ive taken my dog for a walk and put a load of washing in ready to peg outside whilst the sun is shinning. I was going to go my sisters but my stomach still isnt right. I just feel run down. Ill be glad for Jesse to go back school so we can get back to some sort of normality. I think the holidays are hard as it is without adding grief into the equation. I want to take my boys out for tea but if im honest, I literally dont have any energy. I feel drained all the time. I know its understandable and I need time to grieve but my kids are missing out because of my depression. I cant believe im back to the dark place I was fighting so hard to get out of. Ill get through this, im just not sure how.