July 17th Continued.

Haw fast things can change, I was feeling ok,  but sad, like I said and then I ended up in tears thinking about my son in the stars.

Grief really does come in waves.

My son Jensen is off work today and saw I was upset so he took me to Costa coffee to get me out of the house. He's such a good boy, he looks after me. It's hard on me losing a son, but my other sons have lost their brother. Its got to be so hard for them.

I don't think I'll ever heal from losing my child, I don't think you can come back mentally after the death of a child.

They say you have a life before the death of a child and then a new life starts after the death. I've got to program my brain differently now my child has gone. But how?

I don't want a new life, I don't want my brain to be reprogrammed. I just want to see my child. Just one last time please let me see my child.

I am a mother to 4 boys, only now one lives in heaven and my heart breaks all over again.