July 10th Continued.

Ive spent the whole day feeling overly sad today. Im sad everyday, but today it feels worse. Its Wednesday today and all ive done for the past 3 days is sit by my phone, waiting for the funeral home to ring and say I can collect my child. The heartache I feel is unreal. They say it comes in waves and today im drowning.. I feel suffocaited today. Im gasping for air. My chest is tight, grief is heavy today. I cant wait get into bed and go to sleep. Sleep is like dying but without the commitment. I wake up everyday and I wait to go back to sleep. This isnt living. This is survivning..