June 22nd Continued.

Myself and Jensen went out for a coffee. Jensen is like my best friend. We both sat in Costa coffee and took it in turns to cry.

I cried and then Jensen cried.

Is this how it's going to be forever now?

This day, 3 weeks ago, my son left the house to go to a rave in Liverpool and never came home. The weekends are always going to hit me hard.

My dad died on a Sunday and so did my son.

Since my dad passed away 3 and half years ago, I've struggled everyday. I honestly don't know how I've made it this far in life, but then my son passed away and everything feels much worse. I was already in a bad way mentally and then I lose a child. Will I ever be well mentally?

I honestly can't spend another 3 and half years feeling this way, I just can't live like this. I'm just not enjoying being alive. It's heartbreak after heartbreak. There's literally nothing in me except grief.

I am a grieving daughter and a grieving mother.

How do I find myself again or am I lost forever? 💔