June 11th 2024 The Wait.

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The funeral home have rang and my son still hasn't had his postmortem. It's 9 days and I've still not seen or held my child.
I've been thinking about when I see him in the Chapel Of Rest and it still doesn't seem real. I don't think it will hit me properly until I see my son.
I remember seeing my dad in the Chapel Of Rest and because he was embalmed it didn't really look like him. It's weird, it did and it didn't if that makes sense, so we are not having Jay-Dee embalmed. I want to see him just as he is. God its going to be so hard to leave him there and walk away. My beautiful son I miss more than anything in the world. I feel like I've not long woke up and it's now 7.06pm. My days are just merging into one. Everything is moving around me but I'm stood still. I've got nothing inside me, I am empty. I'm drained, life is draining me. I'm tired of fighting for my life, but I have no choice but continue to fight.. 
I hope my son is with my dad.

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