January 5th 2024

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5 days until I turn 40.. They say life begins at 40 haha heres hoping. No matter how dark my days get im going to try my best to find a positive amoungst it all. I woke up this morning to a message off my son Jasper, it said this.. "I know I dont show it but im really proud of you for sticking to being sober and I love you" The impact that small message had on me was immense, it filled my heart with so much love. I could burst with pride. That message right there is one of the reasons I stay sober. I do it for my chidren. Thinking back to when I was actively drinking everyday, im ashamed of myself but I dont dwell on it because im making everything right and have been for the past 2 years. To hear my kids say they are proud of me means the absoloute world to me. You know what, I might not have got alot right in life but I did with my children and I am one proud mum! Sobriety isnt for the weak, youll get tested on a daily, adverts on tv, people on facebook posting pics of alcohol, its all a trigger but I must be one hell of a strong human being because I fight through it and believe me, I would LOVE a drink! but I have to remind myself of how dark my depression went when I was drinking. My head is not a good place to be. Im not just sober for my kids but im sober for myself, I want to make me proud too and I think im smashing the hell out of sobriety!!

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