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I have been depressed for that many years, I dont know how to feel happiness.. I wouldnt know happiness if it hit me straight between the eyes! Im not looking forward to Christmas, but ill put on a smile for my children. Ive got good at my fake smiles, youd never know how depressed I really am. Im crying inside, my heart was shattered the day my father went away. How do you recover from the death of a parent? He wasnt just my parent, he was my best friend. I feel sick to my stomach that ill never get to see him again. Youre pribably sick of me talking about my dad but im riddled with grief, its killing me inside.. In 2 days it will be my fathers birthday and 3 years since his funeral. A birthday and funeral on the same day. It been 3 years and I still cant deal with the death of my father.

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