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4 days until christmas, im so blessed to have 4 children because if I didnt have my children I wouldnt see anyone. Every christmas without fail id see my dad, well id see him every single day all year round so christmas just isnt the same anymore. I wish I could feel some what excited but theres just nothing in me anymore.. Christmas isnt the same when someone you love so dearly is in heaven. I still wear my smile around my kids and make out everything is ok but inside im crying. Everyone still goes on with their life, its like my dads death only impacted me, how is everyone going about their buisness and im still riddled with grief?? Anyway, merry christmas x

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