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Got out of the house today, my son Jensen took me shopping. Its the small things that mean the most. Yesterday, I cried, my dads death has had a massive impact on my life. Im not the person I use to be, I dont even know who I am anymore... Personal hygiene is a task, I barely wash my hair, ive lost who I use to be and I dont know how to get me back. I dont paint my nails anymore, I dont wear makeup, im a shell of a person. Im nothing. I just exist. I use to be so bubly and outgoing. Now I barely say 2 words to people I see at school. Ive become so isolated and lonely. Its been 3 years and the grieving process started over 4 years ago, the day my dad said those words..Terminal cancer. I havent been right since. Pathological grief my psychiatrist said it was. I would give my own life for my dad to be alive, I cant even put into words how much I miss and love that man. He was my world. I miss him more than life itself.

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