You know, I smile at people when I do the school run and theyd never know how dark and depressed I am inside.
I hide it so well.
I feel like crying today, my fathers death punches me in the gut every single day.
I cant deal with his death..
What a sad, lonely, withdrawn from the world, person I have become.
Im consumed by emptiness and sorrow.
I act like im ok when anybody asks, but deep down, I am dead inside.
How do I get through this grieving process??
Theres a dark hole inside my gut, its like a weight I carry around with me everyday.
How can emptiness feel so heavy???
June 14th My Son Is Coming Home.
The coroner has rang today and the funeral home. My son will be getting collected from Liverpool, Monday morning. Which means I can hopefully see him Tuesday. Its Friday today. It will be over 2 weeks since I last saw my child. As a mother, my body is yearning to see my son. I just need to hold him and kiss him on his head. I feel sickness to the pit of my stomach, I'm dreading seeing my baby in a coffin, I'm dreading the funeral. This shouldn't be happening. His funeral will be July 1st at 12.15. I just feel numb. Im convinced its not my son and he'll just arrive home at some point.. I feel hollow with a sick feeling in my stomach. A few of my friends delivered me a beautiful canvas of my son this morning. What beautiful, thoughtful people I have in my life. I don't really know how I feel or what to say, I don't understand how I'm still alive. I'm lost...
Comments
Post a Comment