Keep seeing adverts on tv about funeral care, so thought to myself, maybe I should plan mine now as you never know when youre going to kill yourself right?!?
Wrong!.. you have to be over 50 to take out a plan!!
What about us that dont think we'll make it to 50??
Anyway, thats that plan gone out the window.
I know I sound morbid, ive always been a morbid person, ive never been scared to die, maybe thats because ive suffered with depression for as long as I can remember.
I hope one day I can look back on my blogs and see how far ive come, I hope one day I find true happiness in life.
We can all wish, right?
June 14th My Son Is Coming Home.
The coroner has rang today and the funeral home. My son will be getting collected from Liverpool, Monday morning. Which means I can hopefully see him Tuesday. Its Friday today. It will be over 2 weeks since I last saw my child. As a mother, my body is yearning to see my son. I just need to hold him and kiss him on his head. I feel sickness to the pit of my stomach, I'm dreading seeing my baby in a coffin, I'm dreading the funeral. This shouldn't be happening. His funeral will be July 1st at 12.15. I just feel numb. Im convinced its not my son and he'll just arrive home at some point.. I feel hollow with a sick feeling in my stomach. A few of my friends delivered me a beautiful canvas of my son this morning. What beautiful, thoughtful people I have in my life. I don't really know how I feel or what to say, I don't understand how I'm still alive. I'm lost...
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