Im having a better day today, I mean its been well over 2 weeks since I last had a better day so im glad its finally arrived!
Dont get me wrong, I still wish id just die in my sleep but im happy to be alive to see my children another day.
EUPD is horrible, you just dont know how youre going to feel one day to the next.
I keep thinking about christmas, im not excited at all, I just hope I make it as good as I can for my children.
As much as it pains me, I do plan on staying alive. Thats the plan anyway but who knows...
June 14th My Son Is Coming Home.
The coroner has rang today and the funeral home. My son will be getting collected from Liverpool, Monday morning. Which means I can hopefully see him Tuesday. Its Friday today. It will be over 2 weeks since I last saw my child. As a mother, my body is yearning to see my son. I just need to hold him and kiss him on his head. I feel sickness to the pit of my stomach, I'm dreading seeing my baby in a coffin, I'm dreading the funeral. This shouldn't be happening. His funeral will be July 1st at 12.15. I just feel numb. Im convinced its not my son and he'll just arrive home at some point.. I feel hollow with a sick feeling in my stomach. A few of my friends delivered me a beautiful canvas of my son this morning. What beautiful, thoughtful people I have in my life. I don't really know how I feel or what to say, I don't understand how I'm still alive. I'm lost...
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