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You know, I find myself asking every single day, "why take my dad away?"
I'm not even bothered about my own cancer, I just don't understand why my dad had to go away. He was only 55 years old..
I feel like my cancer was a punishment for all the wrong I've done in my life, that's how I deal with it, but losing my dad is killing me, even though its been nearly 3 years without him, every day is a battle to stay alive.
My youngest has gone on holiday and the first thing I thought was, shall I kill myself whilst he's away.
Do you know how hard I fight every single day to stay alive? It's torture.
Honestly, if I didn't have my 4 children I would be dead already...

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