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Its Wednesday 13th September, every day for the last dew days ive thought about dying. If I didnt have children I would happily kill myself.. damn these kids!! I'm sick of being alive, all im doing is surviving, im not thriving. Each day rolls into the next and nothing changes. Its like groundhog day. Im so depressed and no one knows the extent of how I feel. I have to fight everyday to stay alive because im a mum. I wish someone could take my pain away, I wish I was better and feeling happier. I have to keep reminding myself of how mentally unwell I was this time last year, I know im better but thats the medication! Who even am I?? I dont even know who im meant to be. Im only alive because I have kids and thats a real shame that I have nothing in life I love other than my boys. I have nothing except my children, so in that respect, I guess I have it all but something is missing, and that something is ME.

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