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Wow, yesterday was a bad day, I think the dream about my dad dying triggered me. I just kept crying last night and today I feel totally fine. Welcome to Ann-louise's wonderful world of EUPD!! Its exhausting, it really is horrible. The slightest thing can trigger my mental health. How long can I keep living like this? Its draining, one day i'm doing better, the next day i'm falling apart but one things for sure, I never give up.. But, what if one day I do and I was just having a bad day, what if one day the bad day gets too much?? What if? As long as my children know I fought so hard to stay alive and my only purpose is to stay alive for them. Id love it if I could just die and they'd be ok after my death, but they won't be will they? Honestly the thought of my kids ever feeling the way I do is what keeps me going. I wouldnt with Pathological Grief on my worst enemy. I already know one day I won't be here and the depression will have won. I'm not scared of dying, I never have been. At least I know my dad will be waitiing for me. Yes, I know im not going anywhere just yet but how long can someone with Chronic depression live? Bet its not a long life span thats for sure. Anyway, im feeling alot better today.

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