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Stepped on a plug this morning, didn't really hurt, then I noticed it had taken a chunk out of one of my toes and was bleeding. Long story short, how did I barely feel a thing?? My medication has completely numbed me, I barely cry and im hurting inside so much but don't really show any emotion. I feel numb to life, I have no interest in anything. Couldn't even be bothered to write this blog but its the only thing I have to talk to.. How sad is that! I've been thinking of weening myself off my medication, I just don't feel anything anymore and I know its because of the meds. I want to die but I don't want to leave my children, do you know how hard I fight everyday to stay alive for them?.. I'd love for my kids to know how sad I am inside, id love for someone to read my blogs and know im miserable being alive. Id love for someone to say its ok to die now, your kids will be fine. I know thats never going to happen, so im stuck living a life I hate.

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