Started to ask myself why do I even bother writing this bog?...
I guess since my dad passed away, I have no one to talk to except write my feelings down on here.
Another lonely day trapped in my own thoughts.
I use to write in a journal but I dont even do that much anymore.
I'll sort of be glad when the schools are back open, I have friends that I see when I do the school run.
Through the holidays ive isolated myself.
Its a lonely world when you carry all this grief around daily, its draining.
June 14th My Son Is Coming Home.
The coroner has rang today and the funeral home. My son will be getting collected from Liverpool, Monday morning. Which means I can hopefully see him Tuesday. Its Friday today. It will be over 2 weeks since I last saw my child. As a mother, my body is yearning to see my son. I just need to hold him and kiss him on his head. I feel sickness to the pit of my stomach, I'm dreading seeing my baby in a coffin, I'm dreading the funeral. This shouldn't be happening. His funeral will be July 1st at 12.15. I just feel numb. Im convinced its not my son and he'll just arrive home at some point.. I feel hollow with a sick feeling in my stomach. A few of my friends delivered me a beautiful canvas of my son this morning. What beautiful, thoughtful people I have in my life. I don't really know how I feel or what to say, I don't understand how I'm still alive. I'm lost...
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