Sobriety.WhatMadeMeGoSober?

Would I be sober now if my dad was still alive? I doubt it, so what made me go sober.. I don't even know. January 1st 2022 I decided to do dry January and raise money for CRUK (cancer research uk) after completing my 31 days abstinent from alcohol I decided to stay sober. I'm over 19 months sober now, it will be 2 years January 1st 2024. On my dads death certificate, under Esophageal cancer, it said Cirrhosis of the liver... I cant help but think, if my dad never had esophageal cancer was he going to die early anyway due to alcohol and that plays on my mind. I think something clicked inside me that if I didnt stop drinking my children would end up burying me at a young age, and as much as I want to die most days, I dont want to die, does that make sense? Its intrusive thoughts that I battle with daily. I guess me going sober was a positive that came out of my fathers death. My dad was my drinking partner and ive said before how I hit the bottle hard after he died. So what made me go sober? I honestly believe my dad is guiding me through life. I think he could see from above how my life was spiriling out of control. Something just clicked inside me that I needed to get sober in order to save myself.