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Since my dad passed away, I only really have my sister. I speak to her most days but only see her maybe once a month. She has her own life to live, I know that.. My family don't bother with me, I only have my 4 children. I don't think they really know the extent of my depression. I think its because I hide it well until I blog about it. This blog is the only thing I have to vent too, how sad is that. My brother stopped speaking to myself and my sister over a year ago because he got back with his ex wife and its a shame because we use to be so close. My mum only talks about herself, theres no empathy from her. I dont see my mum much anymore and once again, we use to be close. Since my dad died my family fell apart. My whole life fell apart. Im empty inside. Id go as far to say, im dead inside... On the upside, I was 600 days sober yesterday. After my dad died I hit the bottle hard, then I had cancer and well, I was drinking a bottle of whisky a night. Now im over 19 months sober, the only thing im smashing in life is my sobriety. I cant go back to drinking, it nearly killed me.

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