Just been looking through photos of my dad and it makes me so sad hes not here anymore.
He was 55 years old and im angry that he was taken away from me.
FUCK YOU CANCER!!!!
I fucking hate the fact he could of had so many more years with me but his life was cruely cut short!!
I remember my counsellor from Dove bereavement saying there are many stages of grief and you can revisit them at any time, well today im angry that my dad died.
Im angry and sad. Im sad that my kids wont ever see their grandad and that my youngest was only 4 years old when he passed away. Im sad that I lost my bestfriend.
Im angry that cancer took my dad from me.
I dont think ill ever come to terms with the death of my father..
June 14th My Son Is Coming Home.
The coroner has rang today and the funeral home. My son will be getting collected from Liverpool, Monday morning. Which means I can hopefully see him Tuesday. Its Friday today. It will be over 2 weeks since I last saw my child. As a mother, my body is yearning to see my son. I just need to hold him and kiss him on his head. I feel sickness to the pit of my stomach, I'm dreading seeing my baby in a coffin, I'm dreading the funeral. This shouldn't be happening. His funeral will be July 1st at 12.15. I just feel numb. Im convinced its not my son and he'll just arrive home at some point.. I feel hollow with a sick feeling in my stomach. A few of my friends delivered me a beautiful canvas of my son this morning. What beautiful, thoughtful people I have in my life. I don't really know how I feel or what to say, I don't understand how I'm still alive. I'm lost...
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