Just been looking through photos of my dad and it makes me so sad hes not here anymore.
He was 55 years old and im angry that he was taken away from me.
FUCK YOU CANCER!!!!
I fucking hate the fact he could of had so many more years with me but his life was cruely cut short!!
I remember my counsellor from Dove bereavement saying there are many stages of grief and you can revisit them at any time, well today im angry that my dad died.
Im angry and sad. Im sad that my kids wont ever see their grandad and that my youngest was only 4 years old when he passed away. Im sad that I lost my bestfriend.
Im angry that cancer took my dad from me.
I dont think ill ever come to terms with the death of my father..
March 1st Sunday.
Natalie bombarded me with messages last night, pissed me right off. Telling me she loves me, so this morning ive told her its infatuation and she can't possibly love me and to leave me alone. Ive got enough shit going on in my head without her adding to it. Fuck it off! Life's so much easier being single. Just me and my boys. Going eat what I want today then start calorie counting tomorrow, try shift some weight. Got us all a McDonald's breakfast this morning haha. Don't know how im going stick to a diet, but im going try my best. Getting my hair done tomorrow, really can't be bothered, but my roots are so bad. Thank god my mums a hairdresser haha. I feel ok today, better than I have done the past few days/weeks. Im cooking a gammon joint for dinner. Still need wash my slow cooker, but that can wait till tomorrow. Trying stay positive today and be more thankful. Its hard when you're depressed and grieving. I pray im not like this forever because its horrible. Yo...
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