Just been the gym for the 2nd time, started doing weights, I really want to tone up and lose weight!
I'm so unfit its unreal. My gaol is to become a healthier happier version of me.
They say healthy body and healthy mind so we'll see. I think i've been eating my feelings to be honest because last year I lost 4 stone and i've gained every single pound back.
To be honest though last year I was that depressed I wasn't eating, sleeping, anything.. that's how I know i'm getting better, my appetite came back this year.
My psychiatrist mentioned weight gain with the Olanzapine but I didn't realsie just how fast i'd gain the weight so its time I nipped it in the bud.
I won'y be going the gym tomorrow because my arms literally ache already and thats from only going twice, told you I was unfit.
Anyway, heres to a happier healthy new me.
March 1st Sunday.
Natalie bombarded me with messages last night, pissed me right off. Telling me she loves me, so this morning ive told her its infatuation and she can't possibly love me and to leave me alone. Ive got enough shit going on in my head without her adding to it. Fuck it off! Life's so much easier being single. Just me and my boys. Going eat what I want today then start calorie counting tomorrow, try shift some weight. Got us all a McDonald's breakfast this morning haha. Don't know how im going stick to a diet, but im going try my best. Getting my hair done tomorrow, really can't be bothered, but my roots are so bad. Thank god my mums a hairdresser haha. I feel ok today, better than I have done the past few days/weeks. Im cooking a gammon joint for dinner. Still need wash my slow cooker, but that can wait till tomorrow. Trying stay positive today and be more thankful. Its hard when you're depressed and grieving. I pray im not like this forever because its horrible. Yo...
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