I feel so good today, finally I feel happiness. I wonder how long it will last. It's crazy that some days I want to die, they're finally getting less day by day.
There was a point in my life that I had to fight every single day to stay alive, i've battled so hard with myself and finally it's only a few days a week I have to fight my intrusive thoughts.
I have fought so hard to be able to blog and say i'm getting better!
I'm not where I should be with regards to my happiness, but, by God I am nowhere near where I use to be.
I'm getting better day by day and today is a good day.
March 1st Sunday.
Natalie bombarded me with messages last night, pissed me right off. Telling me she loves me, so this morning ive told her its infatuation and she can't possibly love me and to leave me alone. Ive got enough shit going on in my head without her adding to it. Fuck it off! Life's so much easier being single. Just me and my boys. Going eat what I want today then start calorie counting tomorrow, try shift some weight. Got us all a McDonald's breakfast this morning haha. Don't know how im going stick to a diet, but im going try my best. Getting my hair done tomorrow, really can't be bothered, but my roots are so bad. Thank god my mums a hairdresser haha. I feel ok today, better than I have done the past few days/weeks. Im cooking a gammon joint for dinner. Still need wash my slow cooker, but that can wait till tomorrow. Trying stay positive today and be more thankful. Its hard when you're depressed and grieving. I pray im not like this forever because its horrible. Yo...
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