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Another day stuck in the house but at least my mental health is better. You know what, id love to feel normal, what ever normal is. Id love to not be mentally unwell. Id love to just feel happiness, instead im riddled with guilt over my dads death.. Could I of done more to save him? Why take my dad so young from me? He was only 55 years old. The guilt I feel on a daily basis, along with the saddness of him not being here anymore, the longing to see him. It kills me inside. Honestly, the day my dad died, I died inside too. Doesnt matter how much I wear my fake ass smile, I am plagued with horrendous grief that will never leave me. When people ask how I am, I say every single time, im ok.. When in actually fact im dead inside. 15/11/2020 the day i died inside rip to the old Ann-louise, im now on a lonely journey of finding a different me. A life without my father.. What a lonely place to be.

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