So for the past 2 weeks i've slept every single day. Maybe it's the depression, I don't know...
I do the school run, I get back home and I feel drained. I'm just so tired, maybe i'm tired of fighting the intrusive thoughts everyday.
The worst thing about having cancer is that anything the goes wrong or feels wrong with my body, I automatically think it's cancer again.
So with how tired I am, I keep thinking what if the cancer is back. You know what, I should see my doctor to put my mind at ease.
I'll ring tomorrow, if I remember. The memory loss with the menopause is shocking, my memory is terrible.
I've gained so much weight because of my medication. My life really is pretty sh!t.
What a sh!t day.
June 14th My Son Is Coming Home.
The coroner has rang today and the funeral home. My son will be getting collected from Liverpool, Monday morning. Which means I can hopefully see him Tuesday. Its Friday today. It will be over 2 weeks since I last saw my child. As a mother, my body is yearning to see my son. I just need to hold him and kiss him on his head. I feel sickness to the pit of my stomach, I'm dreading seeing my baby in a coffin, I'm dreading the funeral. This shouldn't be happening. His funeral will be July 1st at 12.15. I just feel numb. Im convinced its not my son and he'll just arrive home at some point.. I feel hollow with a sick feeling in my stomach. A few of my friends delivered me a beautiful canvas of my son this morning. What beautiful, thoughtful people I have in my life. I don't really know how I feel or what to say, I don't understand how I'm still alive. I'm lost...
Comments
Post a Comment