So for the past 2 weeks i've slept every single day. Maybe it's the depression, I don't know...
I do the school run, I get back home and I feel drained. I'm just so tired, maybe i'm tired of fighting the intrusive thoughts everyday.
The worst thing about having cancer is that anything the goes wrong or feels wrong with my body, I automatically think it's cancer again.
So with how tired I am, I keep thinking what if the cancer is back. You know what, I should see my doctor to put my mind at ease.
I'll ring tomorrow, if I remember. The memory loss with the menopause is shocking, my memory is terrible.
I've gained so much weight because of my medication. My life really is pretty sh!t.
What a sh!t day.
March 1st Sunday.
Natalie bombarded me with messages last night, pissed me right off. Telling me she loves me, so this morning ive told her its infatuation and she can't possibly love me and to leave me alone. Ive got enough shit going on in my head without her adding to it. Fuck it off! Life's so much easier being single. Just me and my boys. Going eat what I want today then start calorie counting tomorrow, try shift some weight. Got us all a McDonald's breakfast this morning haha. Don't know how im going stick to a diet, but im going try my best. Getting my hair done tomorrow, really can't be bothered, but my roots are so bad. Thank god my mums a hairdresser haha. I feel ok today, better than I have done the past few days/weeks. Im cooking a gammon joint for dinner. Still need wash my slow cooker, but that can wait till tomorrow. Trying stay positive today and be more thankful. Its hard when you're depressed and grieving. I pray im not like this forever because its horrible. Yo...
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