I may spend alot of time in my room, but you know what, since going sober a year and half ago, all my childen will come in and we all chat and relax on my bed.
I've said it before but i'll say it again (because i'm proud) since going sober, the bond I have with my 4 children is amazing!
I love it, we sit and chat and the feeling of love I have inside I can not even put into words.
I wish my boys read my blog and see how much they save my life every single day without knowing. I really do love them with all I am.
I'm having another better today, mentally I feel better, so, i'm thankful.
I've come to realise that i'm a strong woman, I know the medication is helping but it's me that's determined not to die.
I feel stronger mentally, or is that just because i'm having a few good days? Oh, I hope I feel better for more than a few days.
March 1st Sunday.
Natalie bombarded me with messages last night, pissed me right off. Telling me she loves me, so this morning ive told her its infatuation and she can't possibly love me and to leave me alone. Ive got enough shit going on in my head without her adding to it. Fuck it off! Life's so much easier being single. Just me and my boys. Going eat what I want today then start calorie counting tomorrow, try shift some weight. Got us all a McDonald's breakfast this morning haha. Don't know how im going stick to a diet, but im going try my best. Getting my hair done tomorrow, really can't be bothered, but my roots are so bad. Thank god my mums a hairdresser haha. I feel ok today, better than I have done the past few days/weeks. Im cooking a gammon joint for dinner. Still need wash my slow cooker, but that can wait till tomorrow. Trying stay positive today and be more thankful. Its hard when you're depressed and grieving. I pray im not like this forever because its horrible. Yo...
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