Feel a bit better today, what ever I was coming down with yesterday I managed to starve it out of me. I did a fruit and water fast.
I'm on day 2 of a 3 day fruit fast, trying to cleanse my insides. I can only assume thats why I feel better today.
I find myself asking out loud 'how are you dead?', I still can't get my head around it but i'm getting there slowly.
I know my dads never coming back, so now I need to rebuild myself. The fruit and water fast will help me. Clean eating and thinking, its good for the mind and body.
Not going lie, i've cooked for my son and the smell is amazing but I refuse to quit on day 2 :)
The longing for my dad will never go away, I just need to learn to live with it, but how?
When a big part of your life is missing, how exactly do you move on?
June 14th My Son Is Coming Home.
The coroner has rang today and the funeral home. My son will be getting collected from Liverpool, Monday morning. Which means I can hopefully see him Tuesday. Its Friday today. It will be over 2 weeks since I last saw my child. As a mother, my body is yearning to see my son. I just need to hold him and kiss him on his head. I feel sickness to the pit of my stomach, I'm dreading seeing my baby in a coffin, I'm dreading the funeral. This shouldn't be happening. His funeral will be July 1st at 12.15. I just feel numb. Im convinced its not my son and he'll just arrive home at some point.. I feel hollow with a sick feeling in my stomach. A few of my friends delivered me a beautiful canvas of my son this morning. What beautiful, thoughtful people I have in my life. I don't really know how I feel or what to say, I don't understand how I'm still alive. I'm lost...
Comments
Post a Comment