Feel a bit better today, what ever I was coming down with yesterday I managed to starve it out of me. I did a fruit and water fast.
I'm on day 2 of a 3 day fruit fast, trying to cleanse my insides. I can only assume thats why I feel better today.
I find myself asking out loud 'how are you dead?', I still can't get my head around it but i'm getting there slowly.
I know my dads never coming back, so now I need to rebuild myself. The fruit and water fast will help me. Clean eating and thinking, its good for the mind and body.
Not going lie, i've cooked for my son and the smell is amazing but I refuse to quit on day 2 :)
The longing for my dad will never go away, I just need to learn to live with it, but how?
When a big part of your life is missing, how exactly do you move on?
March 1st Sunday.
Natalie bombarded me with messages last night, pissed me right off. Telling me she loves me, so this morning ive told her its infatuation and she can't possibly love me and to leave me alone. Ive got enough shit going on in my head without her adding to it. Fuck it off! Life's so much easier being single. Just me and my boys. Going eat what I want today then start calorie counting tomorrow, try shift some weight. Got us all a McDonald's breakfast this morning haha. Don't know how im going stick to a diet, but im going try my best. Getting my hair done tomorrow, really can't be bothered, but my roots are so bad. Thank god my mums a hairdresser haha. I feel ok today, better than I have done the past few days/weeks. Im cooking a gammon joint for dinner. Still need wash my slow cooker, but that can wait till tomorrow. Trying stay positive today and be more thankful. Its hard when you're depressed and grieving. I pray im not like this forever because its horrible. Yo...
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