Just been out for dinner, I don't get out much, I prefer my own company.
Too much effort some days to smile, so it's easier to just stay at home.
Nothing fits me, i've gained so much weight because of the medication, I just feel shitty about life all the time.
I said to myself this morning, I am going to embrace being a bigger girl. I also talk shit to myself hahaha.
No, I am going try and be more positive about the weight gain, i've got 2 choices. I either come off the medication, lose weight and kill myself or, stay on the medication, live some sort of normal life and be fat.. I choose the latter.
When did my weight become a major issue?
I have always battled with my weight, up and down it's been since I can rememeber. I'm nearly 40 years old, life is too short to be worrying about my weight, it's time I just embraced a fuller figure and on that note, goodbye xxx
March 1st Sunday.
Natalie bombarded me with messages last night, pissed me right off. Telling me she loves me, so this morning ive told her its infatuation and she can't possibly love me and to leave me alone. Ive got enough shit going on in my head without her adding to it. Fuck it off! Life's so much easier being single. Just me and my boys. Going eat what I want today then start calorie counting tomorrow, try shift some weight. Got us all a McDonald's breakfast this morning haha. Don't know how im going stick to a diet, but im going try my best. Getting my hair done tomorrow, really can't be bothered, but my roots are so bad. Thank god my mums a hairdresser haha. I feel ok today, better than I have done the past few days/weeks. Im cooking a gammon joint for dinner. Still need wash my slow cooker, but that can wait till tomorrow. Trying stay positive today and be more thankful. Its hard when you're depressed and grieving. I pray im not like this forever because its horrible. Yo...
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