Hows life going?
I'm ok.
I'm getting through the days and that is something to be proud of. I am still alive.
My life isnt really going anywhere, I have no asperations. It's sad really.
I can't even read a full book anymore, I don't watch tv, I sort of just drift through the days.
I'm still just surviving, not thriving.
I keep thinking to myself, this time next year, hopefully, I will be a different person, a happier person.
If I don't think like this, what is the point in living?
All the weight I lost, I have gained because of the medication, its a viscious cicrle..
They say 'we are here for a good time, not a long time' but i'm not even having a good time and I hope i'm not here for a long time.
March 1st Sunday.
Natalie bombarded me with messages last night, pissed me right off. Telling me she loves me, so this morning ive told her its infatuation and she can't possibly love me and to leave me alone. Ive got enough shit going on in my head without her adding to it. Fuck it off! Life's so much easier being single. Just me and my boys. Going eat what I want today then start calorie counting tomorrow, try shift some weight. Got us all a McDonald's breakfast this morning haha. Don't know how im going stick to a diet, but im going try my best. Getting my hair done tomorrow, really can't be bothered, but my roots are so bad. Thank god my mums a hairdresser haha. I feel ok today, better than I have done the past few days/weeks. Im cooking a gammon joint for dinner. Still need wash my slow cooker, but that can wait till tomorrow. Trying stay positive today and be more thankful. Its hard when you're depressed and grieving. I pray im not like this forever because its horrible. Yo...
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