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For the past few days the intrusive thoughts have been so overwhelming, I just want to die. I think to myself, if one day these intrusive thoughts get the better of me and I end up taking my own life, I hope my children see my blog and realise just how much their mum tried to stay alive. I don't think my family realise the severity of my illness. It's not a low mood, i'm ill, like, I am sick in the head and it's slowly killing me off. This not wanting to be alive is a horrible feeling. I feel like no one understands whats going on inside of me. I hope in a few days these feelings pass. Jesus take the wheel, cuz I can't do this life on my own.

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