It's been a few days now and I still don't feel myself. I'm tired.
I think I am tired of wearing my fake smile.
I also quit my job a few days ago, I couldn't see a progression from what I was doing. Does that make sense?
I was a lunch time supervisor, it was an hour a day, smack bang in the middle of the day.
Anyway, i'm ok, i'll get another job.
There is a reason i'm still here, I just need to be patient and everything will work out (fingers crossed).
June 14th My Son Is Coming Home.
The coroner has rang today and the funeral home. My son will be getting collected from Liverpool, Monday morning. Which means I can hopefully see him Tuesday. Its Friday today. It will be over 2 weeks since I last saw my child. As a mother, my body is yearning to see my son. I just need to hold him and kiss him on his head. I feel sickness to the pit of my stomach, I'm dreading seeing my baby in a coffin, I'm dreading the funeral. This shouldn't be happening. His funeral will be July 1st at 12.15. I just feel numb. Im convinced its not my son and he'll just arrive home at some point.. I feel hollow with a sick feeling in my stomach. A few of my friends delivered me a beautiful canvas of my son this morning. What beautiful, thoughtful people I have in my life. I don't really know how I feel or what to say, I don't understand how I'm still alive. I'm lost...
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