I spent the best part of 2022 in my bedroom, I was so sad, just wanting to die, i'm just sat thinking about how far I have come with my mental health. Thought about my dad alot today, I think about him every single day but today I felt sad. He didn't want to die in hospital and this makes me sad, I did the best I could.. but could I of done more?
I guess we will never know.
I try my best not stay sad for too long and that works, I have to switch what i'm thinking about. If that makes sense.
So, to sum up today, it's been ok with a double shot of sadness.
March 1st Sunday.
Natalie bombarded me with messages last night, pissed me right off. Telling me she loves me, so this morning ive told her its infatuation and she can't possibly love me and to leave me alone. Ive got enough shit going on in my head without her adding to it. Fuck it off! Life's so much easier being single. Just me and my boys. Going eat what I want today then start calorie counting tomorrow, try shift some weight. Got us all a McDonald's breakfast this morning haha. Don't know how im going stick to a diet, but im going try my best. Getting my hair done tomorrow, really can't be bothered, but my roots are so bad. Thank god my mums a hairdresser haha. I feel ok today, better than I have done the past few days/weeks. Im cooking a gammon joint for dinner. Still need wash my slow cooker, but that can wait till tomorrow. Trying stay positive today and be more thankful. Its hard when you're depressed and grieving. I pray im not like this forever because its horrible. Yo...
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