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Thought about my dad alot today, i'm sad inside. I'm not showing it, nobody would know, I hide mypain really well. I have this fake smile I parade everyday, regardless if i'm ok. I have gained a stone over the festive period, I have eaten what I want, the problem I have is the medication apparently make you gain weight, that is what my psychiatrist told me.. fantastic! Swear its one thing after another I have to battle with. I look at myself in the mirror and I hate what I see looking back. When did this happen :( When did I care about gaining weight? Why do I hate what I see looking back at me? I honestly disgust myself. My sweet tooth is so bad.

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