Sunday 5th February

I've just been to church, I love going to church. I love the singing and I resignate with what is said weekly. Now I have God, I can get through the day, a dark thought comes into my head, I pray, I take time to think, I deal with it and I move on. I have come so far in the past 2 years, if you have followed my blog from the start, you probably already know that. A beautiful lady named Amanda, gifted me with a beautiful bible today that she had gone out of her way to buy for me. I told you, that church is filled with so much love it is unreal. I felt lost 5 or so months ago before I walked into church, now I feel like I have family. I know I already have family but I won't lie, none of them bother with me. My dad was my family. Now I have a new family, Gods family. A family where love is shown without even knowing you're showing it. Hope that makes sense. I was sat thinking about this blog. I bet my grammar is shocking but do I care? Nope, no I don't. This blog is a gateway, a place where I feel safe to talk openly and honestly about my battle with living. I'm still not sure how I made it to where I am today. That is Gods honest truth. This blog keeps my dads memory alive and it will still be here when I am gone. My dad lives on through me, it's really weird because I have noticed I've started doing things unknowingly, that my dad did. I drink black coffee now, always had 2 sweetners with semi skimmed milk and now the milk makes me feel a bit sick. Now I just have it black. Weird. I've noticed a few other things, maybe I've lost my mind, who knows.