I have come to realise, I need to take the good with the bad.
Everyday isn't going to be happy and I now know that there will be good and bad days.
Since taking new medication I sort of see things differently now, a more calm look on life.
I tell myself that there will indeed be bad days and that's something I need to rememeber.
I feel in limbo with explaining how I feel, I don't feel sad but I don't feel happy. I feel a bit lost in life.
My dad dying of cancer, and then me having cancer has really messed my life up.
I think the trauma was too much for me to handle, saying that, I am still alive. I'm doing something right.
March 1st Sunday.
Natalie bombarded me with messages last night, pissed me right off. Telling me she loves me, so this morning ive told her its infatuation and she can't possibly love me and to leave me alone. Ive got enough shit going on in my head without her adding to it. Fuck it off! Life's so much easier being single. Just me and my boys. Going eat what I want today then start calorie counting tomorrow, try shift some weight. Got us all a McDonald's breakfast this morning haha. Don't know how im going stick to a diet, but im going try my best. Getting my hair done tomorrow, really can't be bothered, but my roots are so bad. Thank god my mums a hairdresser haha. I feel ok today, better than I have done the past few days/weeks. Im cooking a gammon joint for dinner. Still need wash my slow cooker, but that can wait till tomorrow. Trying stay positive today and be more thankful. Its hard when you're depressed and grieving. I pray im not like this forever because its horrible. Yo...
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