I started work 4 days ago; I will be honest I wasn't entirely sure I was ready to be working but it's an hour a day at Jesse's school. Lunch time supervisor. It's got to be the most rewarding and at the same time tiring job I have ever done. I applied for the job, and I left it at that.
I got the job; I have now done 4 days (it's Saturday today, I started Tuesday) the time flies because it is none stop. Seeing my Jesse's face light up when he saw me in his dinner hall was the best, makes the 6 trips to and from the school a day all worthwhile, not just that but I'm starting to get my independence back, it's small steps but I'm heading in the right direction.
I'm hitting nearly 1400 steps a day, so not only is this little job helping my mental health it's doing the world of good for my health too. win, win I would say.
I knew I wanted to help people and now I do, I help little people.
How my life has changed and for the better might I add.
I think to myself, if all the trauma never happened, if I hadn't of had this breakdown, would I be sober now, what would my life be like, I know one thing, I'd still have my dad. . .
I'm ok, just took a moment from typing to think about my dad, and I'm ok now. There will always be a sadness inside me, that will be there until I die, I'm just getting better at concealing it.
It's strange because I still don't know who I truly am or who I am meant to be, but I think this is me finding myself. My true sober self.
Take care and remember, life is too short to fall out with people over silly things. Tell people you love them before it's too late.xxx
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