Them nights though, when the kids are in bed..

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Night time for over thinking has got to be the worst time ever, why is it I think about having cancer all through the day but when night time comes and I'm sat alone I start to think, ok, I've got cancer.. I'm going die, I need to sort this, that and everything else out before I do.
The wait for the mri and ct results is going to be the longest wait ever in my life and now alls I keep thinking is death!!!!!!
Why am I so morbid??
Why can't I think positive??
Why me??
What did I do that was so wrong for it to be me that gets cancer??
I mean seriously though, what did I do so wrong in life to be diagnosed with cancer??
I'm a good mum, the best mum I can be to my 4 boys and now life throws a big cancer ball in the way!!!!
Why??
My youngest is 2 weeks away from turning 5... 5 years old! Its no age to lose a mum. Its no age for my 12, 17 & 18 year old boys.
What a cruel fucking world we live in!! 💔

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